yesterday morning i was a little sick and missed church...but once i felt better i had the whole house to myself ^_^ lol, i watched a movie then just tv shows till everyone got home, then we went to a restraunt to celebrate crystal's lil brother, TJ's 14th birthday. No, I shouldnt say little...he might be 2 years younger than her and very, extremely immature for his age, but he towers over everyone.
we all know him to be a spoiled brat. anyways, idk whats up with crystal anymore. even though i see her pretty often it's almost completely obvious that she's wearing a mask because whenever shes online she's all depressed or whatever. like changing her msn name to 'death has become me' and now its 'lost and confused' in german -_-. i have no idea whats wrong with her but whenever i DO see her in person, she's either on the phone with sean(i swear he calls her a million times a day!!!) OR she's checkin out some random guy that she see's. if it's a guy, she's all over him. doesn't matter HOW many b/f's she has. so wrong.....
trisha and me talk about her messed up love life so often....and since trisha lives with her and see's it all, she's pretty much convinced that she NEVER EVER wants to have a b/f or a husband. im pretty unsure about getting married ever myself. i know it's a long way off but who cares. i can have my opinions now and i really dont think i want to get married...it's enough just to have a b/f...even though i dont talk to myne haha. right now, it's better that way. there's way too much else to think about to be getting deeper into a relationship. last thing i need. all i do these days is right reminders all over my arm and never actually get to them.
im so unorganized...and even if i WAS organized, id still be totally behind in schoolwork, failing nearly EVERY class, still not starting my leadership project, nothing....crystal's whole love life thing is the last thing on my mind because of all the other things (mostly what's ritten all over my arms)....i only realize it when i see her i think well hey i haven't talked to her in ever...and why is she being so stupid...or talking with sean on the phone instead of talking to me about some cute guy she saw yesterday or whatever.... anyways. dad, being so....godly, and always mostly forcing everything on us all the time lol, he read us a story today about a girl who started hanging out with one of her friends ALOT and began to act exactly like her and everything....
the lesson was to choose your friend's wisely. im pretty darn sure ive chosen awesome friend's lol. but reallii, idk about crystal. the last thing i want is to be like her and i know i have been in the past a little....just wish i could see my friends from school as often as i HAVE to see her -_-. the thing is...i could never totally break off our friendship. we have and always will be friends again in the future because we see each other so often....if i had a choice i wouldnt be seeing her so often. she always disses me anyways and i hang with trisha and then i wonder why she's hugging me goodbye.....the whole afraid to love thing. that was something me and trisha were talking about. and something i was deeply thinking about. the whole having a boyfriend thing....just...idk, maybe it's not worth it.
idk what im saying though im just weighing out different perspectives.