okay, me being sick and sleeping in the same bed as colleen didnt mix very well @ all last nite---i was feeling fine, well, in that horribly sick kinda way and i fell asleep and all but then at 3AMish, i was having like this bizzare nightmare thats haunting me to this very second ill try to explain---
k it was lyke....a fabric nightmare---all of the sudden the little 1 soft thread would turn into a bunch of hard crap b4 the soft could catch up-----and i woke up horrified because my sheets, pillow, cover and blanket all felt hard and horrible, it was TERRIBLE and colleen asked me what was wrong and i told her to feel it but she was like what? so i got up 2 get some water from the bathroom, and i hoped if i stayed away from my bed 4 awhile, then it would all go away.
but when i went bakk to my bed, it was all still there--in fact, it still hasnt gone away. it's not just my bed, its everywhere. my head wants to explode because i cant get ride of it!!!! i struggled to push it away and colleen asked what was wrong and i told her all the covers were hard---and at that point i was prettie sure they were going to eat me and she's like well listen to music, so i did. i put my cd on repeat and listened 2 it for idk how long. but i couldnt lay down ne more.
but i eventually did. the music sorta helped drown my thoughts but they were still there. i turned my cd player off when i saw it was getting lighter outside but it was onli 7:20. i was so tired i fell asleep for---well, till about 9am. i feel soooo hungry but i dont want to eat....like, everything i touch sends a shiver down my back and makes me want to never touch it again...i remember this has happened b4, just not so horribly, and i was onli 5. can't forget something like that...this is so horrible and i dont knoe what to do about it...

all that went thru my head last nite was that i was going to die--die today-----completely lose my mynd and my life...

I couldn't go on the trip because my mum didn't want to get in a car accident driving in the snow on the way there------well, @ least i can get more schoolwork done while im stuck @ home, right?? -_-

evil snow-_-

im so mad that i have to be here while everyone else is alrede there =(

My dream last nyte---
we(i) lived in this unbelievably large house---like, insanely tall--and there were beatiful moutaintops everywhere because we were so high up but they were rocky and had grass and moss. the huge back porch had no railing in the front so u could just fall off and it was such a huge drop thatyou wouldnt hit the bottom for at least 5 minutes.
cortney came over and we stood in the glass door to the porch and wowed over the moutain tops. i asked if she wanted to go out and so we did, and we looked and looked. it was fairly sickening because of how the boards of the porch creeked and smooshed inward as u walked around. it felt so much like you would fall thru at any given time and to ur very death.
then, it was me and her and colleen and we were outside--on the ground now--the house was still there but we were on the ground. idk how we got there but it was sooo dark down there. we were looking around and cortney went under something in a cave-sort of thing and it was so dark and creepy that i imideately ran out but they didnt follow me. i searched for them--desperate to find them but i couldnt.
there were quite a few people coming down a path........i tried to join in i think that they were dancing and singing =\ i dont knoe why tho. im not so sure what happened afterthat--if i ever found cortney and colleen--where the people that were singing and dancing were going--i don't understand any of it but i never thought i could be so scared in a dream--up on that porch.
porch of death.

I can't go on the student government trip to dc----its snowing -_- i couldnt possibly be anymore upset. but theres nothing i can do about it. sometymes a unique day like today or sometyme else would be so much different in a magical way that would onli last a few days but....yeah. im making no sense. i knoe that i had a whole bunch of strange dreams last night but i dont remember anyof them. i knoe that in one i went somewhere for like, a week and then i can back and i found my mascara left open and dryed out. weird, right? yeah realli realli weird. oh well =\ Fred sez he's going to tell me all about the trip when he gets back and steel pictures for me ---- him & me were talking about 'if we lived closer to each other'--we would seriously do everything together. that would be the life =) just imagineing it makes me happy---we'd be everywhere doing stuff---getting lunch together and shopping and the library and he sed they have a movie theater close by =)

I'd be the happiest girl..........

well, at least as im staying here @ home (((as always)) i can catch up on schoolwork--2 bad non of my friends will be on---except Matt--cause they're all going on the trip. =\

oh well...